Friday, May 15, 2009

The Power of Words

I felt like my heart was broken. I felt like I had perhaps made the wrong decision. I sat on our dirty couch, looking at my husband of three months and sighing. He seemed so unhappy. What had I done? All he would do was watch football and sleep. Had I done the right thing? I knew marriage was hard, but I thought there was supposed to be a honeymoon stage when everything was rose-colored and happy. This was not the picture I had painted in my head throughout our engagement. What happened? I didn't know who to turn to. I didn't want anyone outside of my marriage to think it was going to end. Because I didn't believe in divorce. I didn't want it to end. There had to be another way.

I grabbed my purse and keys. He didn't seem to care I was leaving. I felt like I couldn't breath. I needed air. I whispered to him that I would be back and he barely nodded his head without looking up.

The drive was short, but my thoughts were spinning. What was I going to do? What would the future with him be? I let the questions form tears as I sobbed and cried out to the only one I felt I could.

Then I saw it. The white walls called to me. The steeple beckoned to me. The sight of it reminded me of the day I took my vows. The day I bound myself to him. The man I loved, who I knew loved me. The man that was having difficulty adjusting...and I remembered how I had felt. I had knelt at the alter and looked into his face. I had known it was right. The glow in my chest was unmistakable.

I stopped my car and got out. I stood looking across the field at the church and knew I had to kneel. So that's what I did. I poured everything out. I was overcome until my tears ceased. The choking pain in my lungs weakened and lifted from me. I knew I was where He wanted me. If it was to be hard for a while, it would be hard. But I was in this marriage for a purpose and I loved my husband.

I drove home slowly. Wondering what I should do when I come back through the door. Nothing came to mind. I didn't know what I would do.

The time came sooner than I thought. Suddenly, I was walking to the door and I had no plan in mind. Opening the door, I could still hear the television. He hadn't moved.

I walked in, brushed my hand on his cheek, rested it on his shoulder, and bent to put my lips to his ear. "I love you." I whispered. Then the tears came again.

This time they were shared. They wouldn't be the only tears we shed together, but this moment was one we both would remember forever.


  1. "The power of words"...these were powerful words.


  2. Dani, you have the gift for poetry and prose! Love the natural rhythm of your writing. It moves so well.



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